Invasion of the Body SnatchersDistressed Housewife / November 9, 2012
I personally don’t know why this film is classed as ‘horror’ OR why there’s so much screaming.Â My husband has been ‘body snatched’ this week and I’m really quite pleased about it.
I was suspicious on Monday when he got the hooverÂ out unprompted (see ‘The Waltons’) but it’s got, to quote Alice in Wonderland, ‘curiouserÂ and curiouser’ as the week’s progressed.
On Tuesday, completely out of the blue,Â he ‘washed’ the dishesÂ (I use inverted commas because he usually dips them into tepid water, swishes them around for a couple of seconds and then puts them on the draining board.Â Regular readers of Distressed Housewife will know already that this is a regular theme).
I didn’t have time to notice the food still crusted to them, however, because he also DRIED THEM AND PUT THEM AWAY.Â I know.Â And them wiped the boards and put the recycling out.Â Voluntarily.Â I only noticed my mouth was hanging open in surprise when a pool of saliva started to gather on my jumper.
On Wednesday he put some wet clothesÂ to dry instead of leavingÂ them in a festering heap and ACTUALLY FOLDED the dry clothes he’d taken off the maiden instead of dumping them on the bed in a screwed upÂ ball or shoving them indiscriminately on the ironing pile (and you KNOW I don’t do ironing),
As if that wasn’t enough, he then asked if the bedding needed changing.Â He had to sit me down and make me a cup of sweet tea after that oneÂ for the shock.
Yesterday he told me to sit down whilst he sorted the kids tea out (I was so convinced it was a trick that I couldn’t help checking for a whoopee cushion under my seat) and this morning he put some dirty clothes in the washing basket (he DOES know where it is, after all!).
In the films I’d be screaming hysterically, ‘Please, just give me my husband back!Â I’ll do anything you ask!’Â But do you know what?Â I’m really not that bothered.Â Keep him.Â I prefer this version much better (even with theÂ annoying open-mouthed screeching and finger pointing).
Happy Friday, everyone 🙂