Bedtime Rhapsody

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide.

No escaping bedtime routine.

Please close your eyes,

Just close up your eyes and sleep.

I’m just a poor mum, I need some sympathy,

Because I’m tired out, tired out,

A little mad, a little sad.

Anyway the wine flows, doesn’t really matter to me, to me.


Mama, just lulled a child,

Piled soft toys up in his bed,

Pulled up covers, gave him ‘Ted’.

Mama, evening’s just begun,

But now I’m going to throw it all away.

Mama, ooo,

Not too bothered if you cry.

If I’m still not asleep this time tomorrow,

Drink on, drink on, as if nothing really matters.


Too late, I’m still awake,

To watch Corrie, I’ll make you pine,

Body’s aching for some wine.

Goodnight, everybody, I’ll pretend I’ve gone,

That I’ve settled peacefully and gone to sleep.

Mama, ooo (anyway the wine flows)

I don’t want to sleep,

I sometimes think I’ll never drop off at all.


I see a little silhouetto of a boy,

Little shit, little shit, shall we do the Gin Tango?

Clamouring and screaming – very very vexing me.

Get-to-sleep-o, get-to-sleep-o,

Get-to-sleep-o, get-to-sleep-o,

Get-to-sleep-o Toddlero – before I blow.


But I’m just a little boy, everybody loves me.

He’s not a little boy, he’s tattooed with triple six.

Spare his poor mum from this lack of sleep.

Tired out, tired out, will you let me rest?

Bismillah! No! I will not go to sleep, go to sleep.

Bismillah! I will not go to sleep, go to sleep.

Bismillah! I will not go to sleep, go to sleep.

I will not go to sleep, go to sleep (never).

Never go to sleep, go to sleep.

Never go to sleep, go to sleep.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, I won’t go.

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,

For me,

For me.


So you think you can get up and just need a poo?

So you think you can get up and play with toys too?

Oh, baby, can’t do this to me baby.

Just gotta drink wine, just gotta drink wine or some beer.


Ooh yeah, ooh yeah.

Bedtime really matters,

Anyone can see,

Bedtime really matters, bedtime really matters to me.


Anyway the wine flows… 🙂

Wednesday Words


  1. This is absolutely bloomin brilliant! Did you write this yourself? If you did, you are an absolute genius! Thanks for linking up to Wednesday Words. xx

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