Me Time



me time

I cast my mind back to when ‘me time’ included

Booking into a salon where hairy bits were denuded.

Now I balance with one leg on the side of the bath,

And attack vaginal fuzz whilst my kids point and laugh.

It was a time of self-indulgence, of browsing round shops,

With relaxed eating and drinking punctuating the stops.

Now it’s a time to buy tampons and bread and dog food,

And some crumpets if I’m in an extravagant mood.

I used to meander round stores, try on clothes at my leisure,

Sift through sales racks galore to find some hidden treasure.

Now with kids in my wake, I don’t even remove socks,

And keep my jeans round my knees whilst I’m pulling on frocks.

I vaguely recall times of sitting in a hairdresser’s chair,

Choosing colours and styles that would best suit my hair.

Now I ‘DIY’ in the shower whilst my toddler pokes my boobs,

And urinates on my feet whilst he’s pulling my pubes.

Once upon a time a lie-in meant getting up at eleven…

Now I lay trying to doze after being woken at seven;

Listening to chaos, arguments and the TV blaring,

The shouting and screaming and cries of ‘not sharing’.

‘Me time’ was simple pleasures like savouring a meal,

Without offspring hovering around, spying morsels to steal.

I used to choose from a menu what I actually wanted to taste,

Not just selecting whatever can easiest be eaten in haste.

We went out of an evening and drank until dawn,

Now that’s the time I’m head-butted awake with a groan.

We used to have sex at our leisure without any discretion,

Now in tactics of stealth we’d teach SAS teams a lesson.

I can’t even remember the last time I pooed on my own,

Without someone telling tales or having a moan,

Or needing a wee desperately and performing a dance,

With no qualms of ejecting me without backward glance.

At one time I had a bath with candles and bubbles,

Now my kids sit and thrutch whilst regaling their troubles.

It goes without saying that I wouldn’t change a thing,

Nothing compares to the joy and laughter kids bring.

But just occasionally I can’t help but dream and reminisce,

How real ‘me time’ felt and how it was absolute bliss 🙂

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32 thoughts on “Me Time”

  1. Tiffany Jade says:

    Hi 5 for this one! I feel like this most days. I used to enjoy me time. Can’t wait to be able to poo in peace again, one day!!

    1. Thank you. I know, we can only dream at the moment 😉 x

  2. Sarah Miles says:

    Yep, that pretty much sums it up! I am escaping this weekend, on my OWN, to catch up with uni mates. Not sure I will know what to do with myself without my 3 in tow….

    A great read, made me smile and sigh.

    1. What ON EARTH will you do with yourself? I’m well jel; hope you have a great time. Thank you, appreciate your comments x

  3. This sums up my feelings exactly today. You couldn’t be any more spot on! Brilliant :o)

    1. Thank you; glad I’m not the only one 😉 Thanks for your comments x

  4. Cathie B says:

    Oh how I’ve just giggled at this – this is so true and you’ve taken the words right out of my mouth #prose4t

    1. Thank you hun. Love your Tesco Tantrum poem, just about to comment xx

  5. Brilliant and honest!

  6. Angela Allen says:

    Really made me giggle!!!

  7. Mummy of Two says:

    This made me laugh so much – brutally honest but so true! It’s funny I have been thinking about these things a lot as my son has been off from school and my baby daughter is growing and constantly following me around! I love them to bits but somedays would love some of that ‘grown up’ me time back!

    1. Thank you very much; I know, the school holidays particularly bring it home to you, don’t they? Thanks for your comments, much appreciated x

  8. Absolutely and utterly BRILLIANT! I love this and am in hysterics. This is soooo my life 🙂 You are very talented to write this. Thank you so much for sharing with Prose for Thought and PoCoLo x

    1. Thank you lovely, glad you enjoyed it and that I’m not alone… You’re welcome, thanks for hosting such great linkies, I love getting involved 🙂 xx

  9. AtoZ Mummy says:

    Hahaha I absolutely love this post! Oh how wonderful those days were…

    1. Thank you very much. I know, just imagine… *quickly reaches for the wine and glugs from the bottle* Thanks for your comments, much appreciated x

  10. Jaime Oliver says:

    Thats absolutely fantastic! its so well written and it made me belly laugh x

    1. Thank you hun, glad you enjoyed it xx

  11. Judith says:

    Amazing! So eloquent and wonderfully coarse at the same time and of course extremely on the money. I’ve just started to invite my toddler into the loo with me when I need to poo to encourage him into thinking it’s totally normal and perhaps being potty trained isn’t so bad. I have a feeling I have now crossed a line that is impossible to un-cross for the next decade.

    1. Thank you kindly, much appreciated. I’m afraid so; you can try scrambling back up that slippery slope but you’ll lose your nails trying 😉 Welcome to the world of group poos: the fun starts here x

  12. David says:

    Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

    1. Thank you very much, appreciate your comments 🙂

  13. Lucy Ackred says:

    Brilliant ! I can relate to all of those!!

    1. Thank you, glad I’m not the only one 😉 x

  14. oh this is so true and when I try and explain it to my husband he doesn’t understand why I crave it. One day again maybe….

    #pocolo

    1. Thank you. I know, mine doesn’t either. Let’s hope so 😉 Thanks for your comments x

  15. Stephanie says:

    Oh I relate to this more than I wish I did. I did laugh at vaginal fuzz! What a way to describe it!

    1. Ha! Sorry about that; it’s hard to face up to the harsh realities of our lives sometimes, isn’t it? 😉 Thank you for your comments hun, much appreciated x

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