That Moment When…

That moment when…
  • You send your child to school with Dairylea on his face, don’t have any wipes and for a split second consider using your spit…
  • You feel ridiculously triumphant that you find a pair of matching shoes in the same room.
  • You realise at 8.40am that your child hasn’t done his homework and he has to do it on the way to school.
  • You decide you only need to shave your armpits if you’re wearing something sleeveless.
  • You realise you can’t bounce on a trampoline without having a wee first…
  • You realise your sore throat is from singing too loudly at a toddler group and something dies inside…
  • You put your nose next to your toddler’s bottom and inhale deeply…only to discover they’ve pooed.
  • You put your nose next to SOMEONE ELSE’S toddler’s bottom…and the same thing happens.
  • You patch some the knee of some ‘playing out’ jeans…on the wrong side.
  • You turn on the shower before getting undressed…and it’s pointing straight at you.
  • You start changing a shitty nappy…and the wipes are out of your reach.
  • You start washing up…and realise you forgot to empty drink dregs, left-over cereal milk etc. before you filled up the sink.
  • You’re out, it starts raining and you realise you’ve left out: washing, shoes/toys on the trampoline, the dog…
  • You fanny fart at a yoga class.  What?  Just me, then?
  • You drive onto a rooftop car park with height restrictions and then realise you’ve got a roof box on the top of the car.  Just me again? £320 and many hysterical tears later…
  • Your husband offers to make you a brew when you’re in a birthing pool, in established labour, sucking on gas and air and about to push a little person out of your lady bits…
  • You fall asleep (intoxicated) in your contact lenses and have to wear a pirate patch for three days over Christmas due to a severe eye infection.
  • You’re sitting watching TV after the children are in bed and one of their toys suddenly ‘talks’ to you.

 

Any of these relatable?  No?  Then what about the ones underneath?

 

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I’m going to keep adding to this list throughout the day, so if you can think of any more please leave them as a comment and I’ll add them into the post…

  • ‘You think ‘isn’t my 9mo being well behaved’.. only to find him covered head to toe in sudocrem ” @RoseySophia on Twitter.
  • ‘When you realise 1/2 way to school it’s PE day & you’ve forgotten to take pink sparkly nail varnish off 5yo boys toe nails!’ @sarahjarvis79 on Twitter.

12 Comments

  1. Hahaha I laughed at these – love these kind of jokes….well they’re not actually jokes lets face it….they are TRUE, sadly!!!!!!! Brilliant xxx

    • They ARE true, unfortunately. I SO wish they weren’t and I was one of those organised, polished, well-groomed people. Four words: NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Oh well! Thanks for reading hun xx

  2. lol 😉 yep, yep, yep, yep… *continues nodding for a while the slopes away and cries…*

  3. Love it…I like the one about the nappy nose, so undignified (for both parties!) x

  4. You realise that you forgot to collect the sandwich / dog poo bag which you wedged in between a beautiful dry stone garden wall, in a very quaint village, after a drink in the pub!!! Oops!

  5. victoria jackson June 14, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    @distressedhwife your toddler tells you your blond hair isnt beautiful as you have “black on top” and a playgroup full of mums eyes shoot straight to your roots….

  6. Awesome – I can relate to all of them!

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