• distressedhousewife147@gmail.com

Chasing Cars

Just thinking about famous romantic songs, sung by men about women, and trying to imagine my husband having those sentiments about me. Aerosmith (from ‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’) – I […]

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Losing My Nerve

I’ve decided that when I had children they removed my nerve along with my placenta.  I used to be up for anything; I’ve thrown myself off a crane attached to […]

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Sympathy Scale

My kids are so whiny at the moment that I’m going to design my own ‘Sympathy Scale’ so I don’t put unnecessary time and energy into being compassionate when I […]

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Dignity

It’s a given that having children is a wonderful, rewarding experience, otherwise nobody would do it.  The good stuff has to massively outweigh the bad, which it does, every day.  What […]

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Life’s Little Pleasures

Snuggling into bed with freshly washed bedding and clean pyjamas. Waking up early, then realising it’s weekend and your turn for a lie in. The cool side of the pillow. The […]

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Musical Statues

The more I think about it, the more convinced I become that all the classic games are based on things that happen within families: Twister; I watch my seventeen month old (who’s […]

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Bum Sniffing

It’s obviously in nature’s grand plan to make babies and young children smell good all the time so that we don’t reject them when they’re being less than delightful in other […]

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The Day of the Triffids

We’re recreating our very own version of ‘The Day of the Triffids’ in our house, but with clothes instead of plants (only because no plants live long enough in our […]

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Mission Impossible

Cue Mission Impossible music: dun, dun, dun-dun-dun-dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun-dun-dun, dun.  Imagine a fuse burning rapidly, fizzing and spitting sparks as it races towards a bomb.  Think commando rolls […]

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Vampires

I’ve decided that our three year old makes me feel like we’re in ‘Van Helden’ (Kate Beckinsale eat your heart out) because, like the vampires in that film, he seems completely normal by day; he’s […]

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