Empty Calories

Calories that don’t count:

  • Eating whilst you’re standing up – it burns calories to hold yourself upright.
  • The bits of cheese that break off when you’re grating it – must mean you’re cooking or preparing food, which burns calories.
  • Broken biscuits – would leave a mess so it’s basically tantamount to tidying up.
  • Children’s leftovers – eating these is just acting responsibly and demonstrates to children that it’s wrong to waste food.
  • Chips from someone else’s plate – you didn’t order them, so they’re not strictly your calories and reaching over cancels them out, anyway.
  • Anything that’s accompanied by fruit or has fruit in it – the fruit cancels out the other calories.
  • Breadsticks or bread that are on the table before you get your meal – you didn’t order them, they were free, so they don’t count.
  • A kebab when you’re drunk – you don’t remember eating it so it can’t count, can it?  And anyway, it was necessary to soak up the alcohol.
  • Celery – burns more calories to eat than it contains.  Fact.  Even with dip? Probably not, to be honest. 🙂
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