• distressedhousewife147@gmail.com

Life Imitating Art

Some days I feel like an actor with my children auditioning me for different parts in films.  Today, for instance, I’ve felt like I’ve been in an old Western film.  This […]

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Women, Translated

“I’m fine.”  This translated means, “I’m obviously not fine, I’m very upset.  It might be at you, it might not, but I’m not going to tell you so you’re going […]

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Men, Translated

  “I’ll do it tomorrow” translated means, “If I manage to fob you off today, maybe you’ll have forgotten about it by tomorrow.” “I’ll drive.”  Yes, I’m sure you will […]

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Nostalgia

I feel sorry for kids these days who won’t experience proper cartoons with decent animation like ‘Thundercats’, ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ and ‘Dangermouse’; ‘Bagpuss’ deserves its own special mention (‘We will […]

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The Ultimate Test

I’m not drinking tonight, even though my three year old has weed on my friend’s son’s bedroom floor which is situated next to their bathroom; I’m not drinking tonight even though he’s […]

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My Friends – The Rap

My friends: Make me laugh ’til I wee, Yap incessantlee, Find time for me. Ring me when I’m down, Insist that I don’t frown, Enjoy clownin’ aroun(d). Nice people, not […]

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Mystery Shopper

I did a full shop last Wednesday evening and yet somehow we’ve still had to cobble together breakfast for the kids this morning – we’ve run out of milk and had […]

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I’ll Tell You Why I Don’t Like Mondays…

My three year old keeps telling me he has a snotty nose and needs it wiping approximately every two and a half minutes. My sixteen month old is like one […]

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Happy Monday to Me

Got up at ten past seven and by half past the dog had pooed on the floor ‘cos I couldn’t find the keys to let her out, our sixteen month […]

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The Joys of Tubing

Well I asked if we needed anything to go tubing and they just said long sleeves and gloves; they said nothing about Tena Ladies and an extra supportive bra for when you […]

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