• distressedhousewife147@gmail.com

PMS – Psychotic Mummy Season

The eight-year old steps with exaggerated stealth through the lounge and past the area where she is working on her laptop.  A floorboard creaks and he pauses mid-step, a thin […]

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Spot the Difference

I want to play a game with you.  See if you can spot the difference between the following two scenarios: It’s my turn for a lie-in so my husband gets […]

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4x4s and Penis Envy

I don’t like to admit to being the sort of person that experiences road rage; after all, it’s not very dignified, is it? However, anyone who knows me will testify that […]

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The Very Hungry Caterpillar

In the light of the moon a thirty something mother of three lay in her warm, cosy bed. One Saturday morning (after rocking out to Kelly Clarkson the previous evening) […]

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Blog Embargo

Since the last time I blogged… …A family of three with four brown, rotten teeth between them, wearing shellsuits that wouldn’t have been ‘in’ in 1990, who stunk of booze and had hairstyles that […]

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Giz a Job…I Can Do That

I went for an interview yesterday (which I did LOADS of preparation for, for the record) and found out this morning that I haven’t got the job.  Just what qualities […]

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Painful Pampering

For the last couple of weeks, my body has been telling me that it needs some TLC; the grey hairs have been threatening to rear their ugly heads, the rough […]

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Baby Brain

Can someone tell me how long Baby Brain lasts, please?  My three year old was booked in for his pre-school injections this morning and even though I had written the […]

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The Mother of All Invention

There’s very little that I’ve impressed myself with domestically since I’ve become a mum, but when I found myself using safety pins to ‘hem’ the bottom of Josh’s school trousers […]

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Losing My Nerve

I’ve decided that when I had children they removed my nerve along with my placenta.  I used to be up for anything; I’ve thrown myself off a crane attached to […]

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