Reassure-A-Mum

REASSURE-A-MUM

MUMS – DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WORK/LIFE BALANCE IS ALL WRONG? FEEL STRESSED THAT YOU CAN NEVER GET EVERYTHING DONE? DO YOU NEED SOME REASSURANCE THAT YOU’RE DOING A GOOD JOB?

THEN WHAT YOU NEED IS REASSURE-A-MUM; IT’S FAST, EFFECTIVE, AND ABOVE ALL, FREE!

REASSURE-A-MUM IS A NIFTY NEW APP. THAT WILL GIVE YOU A MORE POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE AND WILL LEAD TO LESS INNER TURMOIL.

‘SOUNDS GREAT!  HOW DO I INSTALL IT?’ I HEAR YOU CRY.

THERE’S NO NEED FOR MOBILES, COMPUTERS OR LAPTOPS AND THE BEST THING IS, YOU’RE IN COMPLETE CONTROL!

THE BEAUTY IS IN THIS APP.’S SIMPLICITY BECAUSE, WAIT FOR IT…

…ALL YOU NEED TO DO WHEN THINGS ARE GOING WRONG OR YOU’RE HAVING A BAD DAY IS FOLLOW THESE THREE EASY STEPS:

IMAGINE YOUR FRIEND’S VOICE IN YOUR HEAD.

IMAGINE WHAT THEY WOULD SAY TO SNAP YOU OUT OF YOUR SLUMP.

SAY THESE WORDS TO YOURSELF.

YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM THREE DIFFERENT SETTINGS:

SETTING ONE: POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE

CHOOSE FROM THE FOLLOWING PHRASES:

  • YOU’RE AN AMAZING MUM AND YOUR KIDS ARE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU

  • THE HOUSEWORK CAN WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW – NOBODY DIED FROM A MESSY HOUSE

  • YOU’RE WORKING TO PROVIDE A BETTER LIFE FOR YOUR CHILDREN (AND THEY KNOW THAT)

  • YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND SPECIAL AND HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU

  • YOU NEED SOME TIME FOR YOU – IT’S NECESSARY FOR YOUR SANITY AND WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER MUM IN THE LONG RUN

SETTING TWO: FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS

CHOOSE FROM THE FOLLOWING PHRASES:

  • WOW, YOU’RE ONE HOT MILF.

  • LOOKING GOOD, GIRLFRIEND! (WITH FINGER CLICKING)

  • HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?  YOU CAN REALLY TELL.

  • YOUR BUM DOESN’T LOOK BIG IN THAT.

  • HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT YOU LOOK LIKE CHERYL COLE ON A GOOD DAY?

SETTING THREE: KICK UP THE ARSE

CHOOSE FROM THE FOLLOWING PHRASES:

  • STEP AWAY FROM THE CAKE!

  • WRITE STUFF DOWN, YOU’LL FEEL BETTER

  • IF HE/SHE DOESN’T VALUE HOW GREAT YOU ARE, BIN THEM

  • YOUR CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS MAKE YOU SMILE

  • IT’S NEARLY WEEKEND, YOU CAN DO IT!

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?  GET YOUR FREE BRAIN APP. TODAY AND START TELLING YOURSELF YOU’RE WORTH IT!

(AD. SPONSORED BY DISTRESSED HOUSEWIFE.  RULES AND CONDITIONS APPLY)

Happy Friday, everyone! 🙂

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