Hi, my name is Max and I’m nearly five. I drew this picture of my mummy which she was really pleased about…until I pointed out that I’d given her a big tummy. I don’t think she liked that, probably because she knows she’s eaten loads and drunk too much wine over Christmas. That’ll get her off the chocolate and back into Body Pump better than any daft new year’s resolution. You’re welcome mum, happy to help.
I also didn’t give her boobies which is unusual for me because mummy says I’m obsessed with wee, poo, willies, winkies and boobies. I suppose mummy’s boobies are easy to forget because there’s not much there, even though she’s quick to point out that there used to be before she had me and my brothers.
I did give her big eyes and REALLY long eyelashes though to make up for it. This obviously isn’t first thing in the morning; I must have been thinking about her after she’s put on that M-A-S-C-A-R-A stuff and had her coffee. Unfortunately, in my eagerness to give her a big smiley mouth (I’ll give her that; my mum smiles and laughs A LOT…although sometimes it’s a bit high-pitched and her eyes go all glazed), I forgot to give her arms…and feet. Oops.
She also looks like she’s missing a few teeth even though amazingly she still has all of her own. My mum’s well old, that’s why I’m always calling her ‘old lady’ (she loves that one, too). Well, she IS thirty-seven so there’s no point pretending it’s not all downhill from here. The two teeth I have drawn though are monsters…but I can only usually see those when she’s really shouting.
I thought to soften the blow of making her a fat, boobless, armless, footless, goofy big mouth with scruffy hair, I’d put some love hearts and bears on. Chicks dig that kind of thing (according to my dad).
Make the most of seeing my picture on here; my mum tends to ‘lose’ our drawings after a couple of weeks, even when they’ve been right there on the fridge before we set off to school. Think it’s about time she took our Christmas lists down though…does she not know it’s 2014 (and nearly my birthday)?
Well that’s all from me for now, I’ve got some winding up to do and some fake crying if I can be bothered. I’m sure I’ll see you again soon though to link up with lovely ladies, Cathie and Victoria over at the brand, spanking new site KidGLloves and linky, Mini Creations. It’s about time someone started listening to us kids. We speak a lot more sense than silly grown-ups!
Love Max xxx