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Benny Hill

Benny Hill

Distressed Housewife / October 19, 2012

Anyone else feel like their days happen in fast motion like a Benny Hill sketch?  (Without the half naked women, obviously, although my husband keeps hoping).

This has been my Friday so far:

6.10am And so it begins…(cue music)…toddler up, given milk, quick brew, quick breakfast, other kids up, given breakfast, given drink, kick each other under table, get yelled at, threaten to turn TV off, wash up, feed animals, upstairs, uniforms on, more squabbling, more shouting, ‘STOP PLAYING WITH THE DOORS!’, quick shower with everyone wandering in and out, more shouting, threats to ring nursery teacher, threats to take away treats, bribes offered to get uniforms on quickly, go over spellings whilst changing toddler, more arguing, more shouting, more spellings, squeeze past each other on landing, get dressed with everyone wandering in and out, sort hair out, put makeup on, take various items off toddler, shout some more at older two for squabbling, everybody downstairs…

…Pram in the car, coats on, everybody in the car…teeth haven’t been cleaned, ‘EVERYBODY OUT!, everybody out, teeth cleaned, everyone back in car, seatbelts on, eldest doesn’t have bag, get out of car, unlock door, retrieve bag, back into the car…have left dog out of crate, unlock door, put dog in crate, back into car, seatbelts on, start engine, drive to school, ‘EVERYBODY OUT!’, shove eldest into yard with a quick kiss, back into the car, pram in boot, seatbelts on, drive to nursery, ‘RUN! WE’RE LATE!’, get into nursery, coat off, get name badge, quick kiss, back into car, go to Tesco, grab butter to take to toddler group, park at toddler group, get in…

…Sort out stuff for snacks, make everyone a brew, play with toddler, quick chat with friends, phone call from school, eldest unwell, phone call to husband, father-in-law will pick him up, make snacks for toddlers, tidy up, wash up, coats on, back in car, seatbelts on, pick pre-schooler up from nursery, go into town, go to the bank, back in the car, seatbelts on, pick eldest up from in-laws…

…Get home, make lunch, attend to dramatically wailing seven year old, administer medicine, send him for a sleep, stop toddler from drawing felt tip Adam Ant lines on face, find teddies (see Bleedin’ Bear Hunt), make three year old have a wee, change toddler’s nappy, take younger two for a sleep, give drinks of water, threaten three year old about messing about, repeatedly put him back into bed, roll eyes behind back of award winningly poorly seven year old, cater to his every whim and fancy, attempt sympathy through running commentary on various aches and pains, tidy up, get computer out, switch it on, log on to Distressed Housewife AND BREATHE…

Happy Friday everyone 🙂




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