Silver Haired Fox

It was in 1985 when kids’ TV improved,

And into BBc’s Broom Cupboard my childhood crush moved.

With twinkling brown eyes and a shock of dark hair,

He answered the prayers of bored housewives everywhere.

Not only eye candy over which women could drool,

But entertainment for kids to fill the time after school.

It didn’t phase Schofe a jot that Gordon spoke with a squeak

Because of a hand up his bum giving his insides a tweak.

Moving on to Going Live increased young Schofe’s success,

By joking close to the knuckle and getting covered in mess.

In Joseph of the techni-coat he showed us that he could sing,

And to his ever-growing bow he added a musical string.

It was at this point that I had him pinned to my wall,

To my young teenage mind he was the man with it all.

In front of the camera he has a natural poise,

Whether talking about politics or introducing sex toys.

His presenting style is one of relaxed class and humour,

(Not as straight-laced as he seems, according to rumour).

On Mr and Mrs he is charismatic and smooth,

Then dishes the dirt when they enter the booth.

On The Cube with contestants he is nothing but gallant,

Putting folk at their ease is his number one talent.

Between light and shade he can transfer with ease,

He knows when to be serious and when it’s OK to tease.

He can be solemn and silly in equal measure,

In his job he appears to take genuine pleasure.

On Dancing on Ice he’s as cool as the stuff,

And diffuses the rows when enough is enough.

He is the king of This Morning and Holly is queen,

A professional match made in heaven, a natural team.

Double entendres are copious, innuendo is rife,

Their fits of giggle are notorious, this TV man and wife.

Not afraid to get in touch with his feminine side,

He changed into a dress and then wore it with pride.

With members of the public, celebs big and small,

He listens to their stories and shows respect to them all.

Like a fine vintage wine that just gets better with age,

Schofe’s still a looker, a charmer, a sage.

He’s a consummate professional, a down to earth chap,

Takes live TV in his stride, every blip and mishap.

A poem to Schofe? I should really explain.

Am I just brown-nosing? Is it for personal gain?

But the reason is simple: The Silver Haired Fox

Follows me on Twitter and for that, he rocks. 🙂