Oopsie

Just wanted to say apologies in advance if your lights go out or a heat seeking missile hits your house.  I’ve copied and pasted so many links, changed so many settings and visited so many sites whose jargon has bamboozled me for this blog that for all I know I may well have unknowingly hacked […]

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Common Sense

A Unique Approach to DIY

Our Family’s Guide to DIY – Lesson #1 – Painting: 1) Take the whole family on an exciting trip to Homebase.  2) Get the £26 paint out of the car, drop it and spill half its contents on the road. 3)  Clear the paint up but feel happy that at least it’s a nice colour. […]

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DIY

Alternative Speed Dating

Forget Speed Dating, going to start some new ones of my own – Speed Eating (before everyone wants to share what you’ve got, even if it’s exactly the same as what they’ve just had);  Speed Wiping (of sticky hands, especially chocolate, before they get wiped on clothes); Speed Sitting (before the puppy or a child […]

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Children

Problem Solved

Problem solved, we don’t need to move house at all.  Just going to wait until the puppy is properly house trained and then we can move our youngest into the dog crate.  He seems very comfortable in there and he’s already partial to a bit of dog food so it’ll save money too.  Sorted!

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Children

Tea Time

Typical 6 o’clock scenario with a tired pre-schooler; tea’s been on the table for an hour and he’s still ‘eating’ it (read messing about).  Then he ‘accidentally’ drops his plate on the floor so that the puppy can eat the rest of it.  Then he cries for the tea that’s now in the dog.  Then he tells […]

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Children

Why Can’t I?

Why can’t I… Ever remember my passwords to anything, ever? Serve a drink to the kids without it getting spilled? Ever find the kids’ teddies in their beds when I want them to have a sleep? Clean dog wee up without someone standing in it first? Make a school uniform jumper stay clean for more […]

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Common Sense

Seventy Year Old Self

I’ve just glimpsed my seventy year old self.  I’ve told my niece to take her coat off indoors or she ‘won’t feel the benefit’.  Next I’ll be telling children they should be ‘seen and not heard’, ‘it wasn’t like that in my day’ and ‘it hurts me more than it hurts you’!

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Women

Pesky Kids

Darn those pesky kids; they’ve polished off all the Spaghetti Carbonara I made for their tea and left me none to secretly scoff standing up whilst I pretend to clear up.  Bloody selfish, that’s what it is…:)

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Children

Laundry

I seriously may as well invest in a washboard and tub to do my washing and then a mangle to squeeze the water out for all this sodding useless washing machine is doing.  Apparently the Celts used to use human urine to wash their clothes – maybe that’s what my three year old was trying […]

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Washing

The Exorcist

My sixteen month old is making me nervous, he’s like a cross between Damien and the girl out of The Exorcist.  Just put him down for a sleep but he wouldn’t settle; I left him for a few minutes and when I went in again he’d upzipped himself out of his Grobag and had shredded cotton […]

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Children