New Jeans

I’ve bought some new jeans.  This is how I feel about them: I’ve had my new jeans on for four hours now I’m gonna go to the toilet in the middle of the house Everybody’s zipping up I can’t zip down Waist’s one red circle Welts just don’t end If they end Will I still be able to bend? I’m making a total fool of myself […]

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Children

Selfless Selfies

I’m currently feeling a lovely warm glow and for once, it’s nothing to do with the wine.  I’ve just seen on Facebook that the trend of ‘no make-up selfies’ has raised over £2 million for Cancer Awareness.  Amazing. Most of the comments I’ve read about this craze have been positive but unfortunately I’ve also heard some […]

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Blogging

Naked

As if it wasn’t enough that my tumble dryer blew up three weeks ago, this has now happened to my wedding ring: I don’t know how clearly you can see from these pictures, but the middle section of white gold has completed lifted away, exposing a sharp edge and losing the middle diamond from its […]

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Children

I’m Not Going to Beg…

I’m not going to beg, I’m not going to plead, it just wouldn’t be dignified. I’ll simply remind you of the many things I’ve shared, often at the expense of my pride. I’ve described in great detail the time I loudly fanny farted in the middle of a yoga class, And how I became a reluctant […]

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Blogging

The Best

After writing my last post about our five year old being ‘on the turn’ and exceeding his ‘best before date’, he made me feel horribly guilty (as children are so adept at doing) by reverting to Sweet Max two days later. When this Max is present in our house, everyone’s life is easier.  This Max gives me lots […]

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Children

On the Turn

Like a pint of milk left in the fridge too long that leaves floaters on the top of your coffee; like a packet of meat that’s starting to develop a greenish tinge; like a potato that’s just starting to sprout of a piece of cucumber in the salad drawer that’s starting to go squishy…our five […]

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Children

Tumble Dryer: An Ode

O Tumble Dryer, why did you have to leave me so? How am I supposed to dry our clothes, without your hot air that blows? You’ve left me writing an ode to you with wet school trousers pressed damply against my back. And stiff knickers that dried on the radiator, Scratching uncomfortably up my…bottom. O Tumble Dryer, to […]

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Children

Searching for a Silver Lining

Hmm.  What to write, what to write?  I’ve had a shitty few days but I’m determined to find the silver lining in all of it so here goes… I had an interview on Friday afternoon for a job I really wanted….and it was a metaphorical car crash.  I’d prepared for it all week, had compiled […]

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Children

The Dash

On Monday it was the first anniversary of my mother-in-law’s death.  My husband wanted to let it pass as quietly as possible and treat it like any other day…as much as he could in the circumstances. My close friend, who lost her mum last April, had been invited to a memorial service at the hospital where […]

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Children

Parklife

On Sunday I took Pepper for a walk with M and Z.  Now normally that sentence would have me reaching for the Chardonnay but for a change, it was really, really lovely.  They ran with childish abandon with Pepper excitedly jumping and barking at their side.  They chattered about what trees and animals they could see […]

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Children