Eating Out

Ahh, going out for a family meal on Saturday evening reminded me of when my husband and I used to eat out before we had children…because it was NOTHING like it. In the past we would get a taxi or a lift to the restaurant so we could both enjoy a couple of glasses of wine with our […]

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Children Eating

It’s Oh So Quiet…

It’s oh so quiet, shh, shh.  It’s oh so still, shh, shh.  You’re all alone, shh, shh…and so peaceful until… Your husband gets up at 5.45am to travel to Stoke-on-Trent to go on a course for work, then it was more like this…   Crash, crash, crash went the do-ors, Splash, splash, splash went the taps. […]

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Men Songs

So Not Funny

I’m going to tell you a sad little tale and you must promise not to laugh.  Promise?  I didn’t laugh AT ALL when my husband told me this story last night, so you shouldn’t either.  Because it is SO not funny.  OK? Right, here goes.  (Cue violins). Yesterday my husband walked into a shop (it’s […]

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Humour Men

Half Term Horror

With half term horror looming and Halloween just around the corner, I thought I’d do my version of Michael Jackson’s Thriller to demonstrate just how I’m feeling about a week at home with the kids.  Cue music (screaming optional):   It’s close to Friday and something evil’s lurking after school After the weekend, you think […]

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Children Humour Songs

Toilet Humour

I got stuck in a toilet cubicle this morning.  Properly locked in.  I had a wee, washed and dried my hands, reached for the lock and IT FELL OFF IN MY HAND.  The whole thing.  I tried to fix it back on but only succeeded in pushing the pin completely inside. It was at a […]

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Common Sense Humour Women

Galaxy Girl

I’ve been feeling a bit peckish so, like the girl in the Galaxy advert, I thought, ‘Mmm, I know what I feel like’ and went into the kitchen in search of food. However, unlike the girl in the Galaxy ad, instead of padding gracefully on bare feet,  I limped in (because I banged my knee on the […]

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Eating

Velcro and Bungee Ropes

My boys’ favourite hobby?  You might be thinking football, playing on their DSs, riding their bikes or playing with their willies.  All wrong.  My boys’ favourite hobby is running.  Sometimes outside but mainly in the house.  Just running.  Aimless, futile, endless running, up and down, from the settees in the conservatory to the settees in […]

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Children

Benny Hill

Anyone else feel like their days happen in fast motion like a Benny Hill sketch?  (Without the half naked women, obviously, although my husband keeps hoping). This has been my Friday so far: 6.10am And so it begins…(cue music)…toddler up, given milk, quick brew, quick breakfast, other kids up, given breakfast, given drink, kick each […]

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Women

Bleedin’ Bear Hunt

All our boys have teddies with which they sleep.  The eldest’s is fine because when he gets up he leaves it in bed because it’s not ‘cool’ to keep it with him.  Not the case with the other two, though.  They need theirs surgically removing from them if we go out and carry them round the […]

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Children

Hoodwinked

I’ve been hoodwinked, duped and had the wool pulled firmly over my eyes. Our seven year old came into our room this morning, complaining (in a carefully staged croaky voice) that his head hurt and his chest felt tight. Now, ordinarily, my husband and I are of the school of, ‘Go to school, see how you […]

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Children